8 Things I’ve Learned in 18 Years of Dance
I started dancing when I was just 17 years old. Even back then, I thought I was already behind in life when I would see kids dancing at a young age and already accomplishing a lot (performing, competing) or seeing friends in high school go on to join dance teams and compete in shows. But if there is anything I have learned in life is that we are all on our own unique journies, each filled with different twists and turns. I didn’t think I would still be dancing 18 years later. In those 18 years, I have led and directed multiple dance teams, choreographed hundreds of songs, and even co-founded a dance studio. Growing into year 35 this year and I still can’t believe I have been dancing all this time and I don’t have any plans to stop any time soon.
Dance has given me so much joy over the years and I have experienced a lot of ups and downs on this journey. Everything that has ever happened to me has happened for a reason I’m glad it has led me on the journey I’m on. I have learned a lot in all those years so here are the 8 most important things I have learned in the last 18 years of dancing.
You will have no idea what you are doing most of the time. Dance was not in my life plans whatsoever. I know there are people that train all their lives to be dancers, but not me. I was lucky enough to stumble into dance during my freshman year of college and just happen to be invited to try out for a dance team on campus called Urban Beats. I, of course, had no idea what I was doing but I thought “Hey, might as well try it, it could be fun.” I think if we all take that approach to things in life, who knows all the weird fun things we would end up trying and loving! So if you ever think, I have no idea what I am doing, then that means you’re trying something new and that’s a good thing. I see a lot of people say all the time, that they WISH they could dance but have not even once tried taking a class or even attempt to, because of fear. I wish I could show everyone my first audition tape because it was awful and quite honestly I thought my dance career was over right then and there. But, after just taking that first step (literally), I somehow managed to build an entire identity and life around dance.
Listen to lots and lots of music. This might be obvious but dance and music go hand in hand. The kind of dance you like might say a lot about the kind of music you enjoy and vis versa. So don’t be afraid to try other styles of music and other styles of dance because these two mediums speak to one another in a way that will tingle the side of you that wants to possibly move, create and express. I didn’t know how much I loved R&B music until I started dancing to choreography from this genre. I grew up listening to a lot of rock music. Bands like Queen, Blink 182, and Yellowcard. But it wasn’t until I started dancing that I started to listen to R&B music: Usher, Chris Brown, and Ne-Yo. So the more I danced to this music and learned choreography from these songs, the more I grew to love R&B. There is a feeling when dancing to this particular music that requires being so in control and displaying a style of texture that I don’t really get from other styles of music when danced to the way R&B hits. When I dance to R&B music I feel in control, I feel strong, and I feel confident. So listen to all kinds of music because…
You can dance to ANYTHING. Don’t think so? Ask Sophomore me, who danced live on stage in a talent show to a Taylor Swift song. I remember just really enjoying one of her songs and I wanted to dance to it but in the street styles that I was learning from my dance team at the time. I wish I had a video to show people and I’m sure everyone in the audience that night was probably like, what the heck is happening but, I did it! I’ve seen dance teams from America’s Best Dane Crew like Poreotics do the same thing! They became a hit when they showed up on the show dancing to Love Story by Taylor Swift and my mind exploded. It is when I realized just how interpretive dance truly is. Dance is one medium of expression just like singing, playing music, drawing, and writing. So if these mediums have the ability to inspire one another then, of course, you can dance to any kind of music.
It is so easy to get in your own head. This one is not just a dance lesson but a valuable life lesson. I have learned so much choreography over the years, competed in so many shows, and taught so many classes. It is so easy to compare yourself to the next dancer, the next team, and the next choreographer. It took a long time to realize this, but every dancer is just out there just doing the exact same thing you are trying to do - dance. That’s it. If we all thought about this anxious feeling of comparing ourselves to other dancers, then NO dancer would be able to move past the crippling fears that anxiety gives us. So next time you start to doubt yourself just remember, that everyone has doubts, but that everyone - YES everyone, even the amazing dancers you see performing alongside Rihanna at the Super Bowl Half Time show, have all at one point had some kind of doubt about themselves being a dancer. I would start to have doubts when some of my dance videos didn’t get as many “likes” on Instagram as some of my peers. That really took a blow at times to my self-esteem especially when I first started teaching. The truth is, I was wasting time comparing myself when I should have been focusing on how to better my craft, focus on my style, and how I can make my movement speak even louder to help me express myself.
Every dance teacher is a choreographer but not every choreographer is a dance teacher. I have had the honor of teaching a lot of classes over the years and taking classes from both professional and amateur dance teachers in the community. Dance is such a special thing. Teaching is such a special thing. I think some of the best moments I have experienced in dance are when a dance teacher really taps into the inner workings of what it means to be a good mentor, coach, and teacher. If you are someone that wants to teach choreography to others, please spend some time knowing what it means to teach. Teaching requires awareness, empathy, and respect for the development of others. People are trusting something like learning something in your hands and it is our duty as teachers to lead that space with a level of professionalism that should be the utmost priority. I have been lucky enough to direct and teach hundreds of workshops, rehearsals, and classes in the last 18 years and I take each one extremely seriously. I still have an insane amount of fun with the class, but I take my job as a coach, teacher, and mentor and do it with love and respect for the craft. I know what it’s like to start from nothing with something you want so badly to learn, so when people come to me for any kind of guidance, whether it’s dance related or not, I take pride in that connection.
It’s okay to feel stuck. Ah, another life lesson that I so painfully have learned through dance. Just like many things in life, you can also feel burnt out by dance. There was a time in dance when I was rehearsing, choreographing, and teaching non-stop from the years 2013 to 2018 or so. It wasn’t every single day but I remember feeling this need to always create new choreography all the time. I honestly even still feel this way a lot. I’ve had to learn that it’s okay to take breaks from dancing, breaks from choreographing and even teaching so that you can take time to slow down, reflect, and really appreciate just how amazing dance is. When you take a step away from it for a while, you can really miss it and it can spark this whole new wind behind your back for it. I have found that wind again for teaching after not teaching from 2020 - 2022. I stopped teaching and taking classes altogether and even almost stopped dancing. But after a few months off in 2020, I just started dancing and moving on my own, in my apartment or at the gym. I picked up jumping rope in the spring of 2020 and that actually helped me want to dance again because it helped me feel this new level of coordination that I had not felt before. Jumping roping was helping with my balance, agility, and overall endurance! I guess the lesson here is to try new things when you take breaks, whether it’s a new style of dance, a new activity, or a new form of expression, and if you love something enough, it will find its way back to you - in my case, dancing and teaching found it’s way back into my life. Speaking of other mediums…
Dance really helped me balance my overall creative life. Photography, jump rope, comedy, writing. All these creative things led to the next thing because when you’re a creative person, it just finds its way into other areas of your life. I remember getting interested in photography in 2015-2016 and because I was always dancing, my first photo shoots and the first things I took photos of were dancers and dance moments. Now I take photos daily and have shot headshots and weddings for people since starting that creative medium. I started jumping rope when I took a break from dance and needed a new form of cardio and that helped me improve my dancing even more. I started comedy because I wanted to try a new art form while on a stage. I didn’t realize just how much being on a stage for so many years performing dance helped me when I first started comedy. I had been on a stage so much that it kinda felt natural to just be on one. I’m still learning the ups and downs of comedy (stay tuned for another post about that), but doing comedy performances reminded me a lot about the rush I would get when I would perform a dance. I started writing more when I picked up journaling because I thought it would be a good way to practice warming up to write jokes. I don’t write jokes as much BUT I sure do love to journal and now write about the things I really care about. I’m excited to see what the next creative thing I try will be!
Don’t stop. 18 years later, I just never thought dance would have given me this life I have now. I don’t know what I would do without dance if I didn’t start all those years ago. I was such an awful uncoordinated dancer, with no confidence and no skills whatsoever. But, something inside me just wouldn’t let me stop. I just kept going. Am I the best dancer? choreographer? teacher? Not a chance. But I learned and grew a lot to become the one I am today and I plan on improving in any way I can from now until the day I stop, which again - I don’t plan on any time soon. If dancing has taught me anything, it is this - when you find something you love, just don’t stop, no matter how difficult it gets, because you’ll look back one day and you’ll just be glad you never stopped.
