Couples Photography Spotlight: Alison & Ken
My work lately has been focused on not just lifestyle but with an emphasis on love and couples. Lifestyle photography has always appealed to me because of it’s way of capturing the everyday moments in life. I’m also a self proclaimed hopeless romantic. So what do you get when you mix the two elements together? You get a lifestyle couples photographer dead set on capturing the everyday moments of love.
Recently I got to work with a lovely couple, Alison and Ken. This couple got together after being friends first but it was also food that brought them together. One Thanksgiving season, Ken was courting Alison by offering to bring her a delicious Ube pie and from that day on, this gesture, set their relationship into motion. So it’s only fitting that I got to shoot with them whilst they go about one of their favorite kinds of date nights: cooking dinner together.
Now it may seem basic but because it is. Eating is one of those actions that we often don’t stop to appreciate, let alone cooking! Cooking is an act of service. Cooking is one of those actions that shows a gentle side of love. It is an act of intention and care for the person or people you are cooking for. It is a way of telling someone, “Hey I love you and care about you, so you need to be fed so you can survive.” At least that’s one way I look at cooking and how it relates to love. Growing up, my Mom would cook some of my favorite Filipino dishes like lumpia, torta talong and tocilog. Whenever I had these meals I would feel this overwhelming sense of love and joy with every meal. Why? As cliche as it sounds, these dishes were made with some L-O-V-E. Anyone who enjoys their Mom’s cooking can relate to this feeling.
As I watched Alison and Ken prepare the meal together I asked them about their relationship. I asked them to reflect in their first date together which, you guessed it: it was cooking dinner together! How sweet is that? It felt like a full circle moment to be able to capture their love in a way that started with food, and continued with date nights around cooking together. Together they prepared one of their favorite meals; Lomo Saltado, which is a popular Peruvian comfort food dish consisting of marinated strips of sirloin, onions, tomatoes, fries and rice. The dish was so well prepared because of one secret ingredient: love (yeah, I said it).
At the end of the meal, I asked both Alison and Ken to each describe what advice they have for relationships. Alison went with making sure that you communicate your feelings to one another. I have to agree that this is a key component of a successful relationship. How often do we hear that communication is critical in a relationship? Remember that the person you are with has their own mind, personality, hopes, dreams, and fears. They have their own world of things they are thinking about and it’s not our job to be mind readers. Instead, we must do our best to be able to express to our partners how we are truly feeling and this takes practice, and to do it in a way that is calm and effective.
Ken’s advice for relationships was to make sure to affirm your partner’s emotions to help them feel loved and supported. Another spectacular piece of wisdom! In relationships, we all just want to feel seen and heard by our significant other. Affirming their feelings is one of the highest forms and gentlest forms of understanding you can give to someone. To not judge and to listen to understand and not respond, is a skill that couples who have gone the distance have mastered.
Another reason I love working with couples is because it helps me reflect on my own journey with my girlfriend. We are in a long-distance relationship and I miss her dearly all the time. Surrounding myself with couples here in New York gives me a chance to take part in their journey to learn and aid my own. Relationships are never easy, but as I always say, the more difficult something is - the more worth it feels. So get to work with your partner and don’t take date nights for granted whether you are living in the same city or not. They are special times to reconnect and further deepen the connection you have with your partner. Let cooking for one another and creating something together be a reminder of the life you are creating as a team.
